Well I guess things are ok....

My friend stopped by today, he said everything is fine. Nothing to worry about. But I am a worry wart so I will always worry. Plus I feel so paranoid that I am making the same mistakes with him that I did with E. And what sucks is althought it is just a friendship and I need to just let the friendship take its cause, I am still all weird about it and I do weird things, and I say weird things. And that is part of what pushed E away. Granted this friend seems to understand how I feel and even sympathizes and sometimes feels the same way but still.
Why can't I be secure in the friends that I have. Have I really been screwed over that much that I am ruined for life on ever being able to have a good friend again. That would really suck! B/c then I would sure as hell be lonely.
My mind is still spinning even after my "relaxing" night. I wish my brain would not constantly going at 100 mph and just chill. I wish i had a "free spirit"