Too good to be true....

You know when you finally find something that you have been longing for for a real long time.... you finally have it and you start to think this is just too good to be true. This isn'g toing to last.... this isn't going to work etc.

Ok so I am just paranoid.... Is it truly possible for me to finally have something good happen. I mean, I know I have plenty of things that are good in my life, but I have always felt like something was missing. ANd I tend to always look back on college. HOw I always had my friends close by. Always had someone to talk to, to hang out with. I miss that alot! I still have some of my friends but they all live far away. I still have Kevin but sometimes I need someone that I can talk to about Kevin or get away from the household stresses. I feel like I needed that someone that was around alot.

I thought I finally found what I needed a few months ago. Well I figured out what I needed but I finally thought I found it. THat just led to total heartbreak! As I have posted many times before. That emptiness I felt got even worse after losing it. And I was starting to spiral into this depressive state.

But now I really think I have found it. I found a small group of friends. I have found people that acutlaly call me instead of me being the little lost sheep following everyone around. They call me for advice, gossip, even to hang out. Just one or two people but I really think I needed it. I think I just needed friends. And on top of that I have found a great friend. He puts up with my shit as much as Kevin does and I love him for it. He means the world to me and I to him. Kevin even commented last night that he is a much better friend that E ever was. And he is right.

So then why do I get these paranoid feelings that it is too good to be true. Has it been that long since I have had a friend like this that I can't just let the friendship be. Did E screw me up enough that now I worry about future friendships.

Is it really too good to be true.......