Are you allowed to cry on your Birthday?????

You know I think I hate birthdays and holidays. I think you learn who your real friends are. Yeah I know many people sent me Happy Birthday wishes, via text, facebook, email etc. But for some reason those are all people that I know to be my friends.
It is the damn fire department. This is why I stopped hanging out along time ago b/c I discovered that although I may see these people everday. I do things with them we go out we hang out... Apparently they are not truly my friends. I learned that years ago and I don't know why I even bother. I have been saying for over a week that I wanted everyone to hang out this Friday night (friday nights are hit or miss) but I said that we would all celebrate my b-day. Well last night was one of the deadest friday nights at the firehouse ever! Only 2 people showed up that said they would P and E. And obviously P would come. I was very happy E came. We sat by ourselves just chatting like old times for a LONG time! It was great, I miss that. Unfortunately we finally had a chance to see each other yet we didn't have each others Christmas present, lol.
So now I come online to check my email (hoping I have some messages). And I go onto facebook (and one of my online forums) and I had a whole bunch of happy wishes which briefly brought a smile on my face until I scrolled down to find out a few of my friends including someone that I thought was a real, true and good friend and I am soon discovering may not be was at the bar last night! He knew! ARGH! I think he hurt most of all. Nah I think the whole thing just sucks.
So now I am home with Andrew alone (b/c Kev is working). Going to my parents house for dinner... just like another day, nothing special!
Maybe we can just forget it is my b-day and just move on with life!

Btw I have some great pics from upstate.... damn it I just realized I should have just stayed up there! I had such a great time it would have been so much less dissapointing. I will upload later... :'(