I'm back...

Ok I am back, I think I need this as my vent b/c I can't seem to get my mind straight again and this is kind of therapueautic even if no one does read it.

So things have been less drama, I determined that people are just immature and are not worth my time and effort. I am trying to realize that there are people that are just acquaintances and then there are true friends. So here I am thinking I know who these people are. Some of these acquantances have taken me by surprise lately but I am just taking it as it comes and being cautious. It is kind of against my nature to be that way but I need to for my own sanity.
My problem is with the people I thought were my true friends may not be..... I don't see the need ever to lie to a friend. I really don't. This is not the first time this has happened ad that is what hurts the most part of me understands why he is lying to me but it still hurts and there is no reason for it. I am his friend, I consider him one of my closest friends. I invite him to hang out or go out or do something and I understand that he has his friends and wants to date etc and if something better comes up like a date or something I understand. I think he is afraid to tell me hey I am gonna go out with this girl for fear of hurting my feelings or fear it will bother me but it doesn't. Well it does b/c obviously I want to hang with my friend but I understand and expect things like that to happen as long as it wasn't something important. I invited him over for New Years, quiet, nothing big, he had to work in am, we were just staying in playing games etc, he said he would let me know. The new girl he is seeing invited him over too, I said go for it if you want I don't mind just let me know. New Year's eve comes around I ask what he decided to do and he told me he chose to stay in and hadn't left the house. I continued to message him thinking he was home and to in a way keep him company.... Last night there was picture with him on New Years eve with the girl he is seeing. I don't understand why he didn't just tell me he decided to go out with her. I would have understood and i would have left him alone. I asked him about it and he turns off his phone to ignore me.
My fear is, I am being foolish, that our friendship is not what I believe it to be. Just when I finally feel like I have things sorted out I realize I am wrong. I know it is petty but this is not the first time and I just feel like this isn't something a friend should do, or am I really holding too high an expectation. My friends are my world and I treat them as such, I don't always expect that back but at least a little respect.

As for the rest of life... it sucks, Kev and I are ok in a way, he got what he wanted was for me to be home all the time and I am miserable b/c I don't get to see my friends that much. So it is basically the way things used to be.

Andrew is great, cute as ever with having his bratty moments going to school 4 days a week with gymnastics and soccer.

Money and bills suck! Like really suck! I wish we could just get out of this whole.

So basically 2009 sucked and it is 4 days into 2010 and it doesn't look like it is going to be much better.