the same thing....

You know I realized today that I seem to go through this same cycle over and over. I find someone whether it is a friend or boyfriend or whatever and the same problem occurs over and over. The overbearing, the smothering, even distancing. And it is weird b/c I was watching the view today and Barbara Walters was talking about her daughter who is adopted, and well she started talking about how the adoption has affected her life and the way she handles relationships. Now at first I was really not paying that much attention but I noticed that what she was saying was exactly my problem. Exactly what I do, how I act. And it makes sense. It is a fear of abandonment, a fear of being alone. So I either smother people or I distance them all in fear of losing them. It is amazing how something that I never think about, deep down I know it doesn't really bother me, but that it affects me so much, makes me the person who I am.
I am really lucky to have found Kevin and that he is willing to deal with these problems. I just wish that others could recognize that too.